I, indian..

So, we're back with some more musings. Been quite lazy and figured the photo-blogging feature of the new-ish phone might actually help prevent RSI. Though, i'm told I am likely to have arthritis of my thumb joints from all the messaging. A good way to go, that.

disclaimer one: the following is in part the extract of a discussion i've had with a few friends off late. credits for whole or part of it goes to the unnamed souls who will recognise themselves, and who i think, would rather not be acknowledged with a name in this paragraph.

discliamer two, this is a generalization. many of you will not fit into this model. hence, consider without defensiveness.

Some general gyan was happening about some friend of mine being unable to step out from the shadow of his parents well past his adolescence. got us thinking about the idea of self in India and how it is different from the west (pertinent, for that seems to be a life a lot of us are living). Much has been written about it, but I have not read enough, and will not now, coz this will only be a passing refernce. So, basically we came to a conclusion that the Indian Self (referrring to a majority), is one which is a 'limited-diffuse' one. Diffuse in that, one does not have well defined boundaries of one's self (decisions, loci, impulses & motivations), but extends to that of one's family (big and small). Limited in that, one is really not able to allow suffusion to the outside world, and simulataneously keep one's self clear.

Moving on, what really seems more appealing is the idea of our pride. A personal one and a collective one (closely linked to that of self). the personal one is often more a defensive one. For eg: it is usually the kind of pride which will turn up at the first moment when one is threatened, but not a pride which is happy and self aware. Not the kind of self-assured-pride which would have made us say, refrain from spitting on the road, or beating wives. And again, like a lot of other behaviors, the absence of this pride, could be partly explained form the childhood socio-cultural milieu. At some stage, if you don't have enough money to feed yourself or provide happiness in life, it is diffuclt (not impossible)to have that kind of pride to not spit on the road. Again, this pride is not one which is fostered from our school system. Most schools, (less these days) focus on getting children to live in the system and grow up 'humble' without any attempt at developing a sense of person, self and achievement. Again, with a lot of exeptions. To jus stretch the point, the defensive pride, is what often makes the bad drivers on the road, get aggressive with you for their faults. the fucking rats..

The collective pride, is worse. Having had few common pegs (rising these days, thanks to some good things happening) to identify as a country and develop pride as 'indians', one is forced to try and find the collective pride in smaller and smaller divisive groups. like kannadigas ( a sensitive lot, oh man), southies(read non-choms), aiyers, gay men. Smaller and smaller existentially rocking boats with little real anchor for our pride.

A little or more is true for most of us. A little or more denial will help things stay the way they are..

Osho