of love and other thoughts..

I wouldn't be overstating it when i say that one of the biggest concerns a gay man learns to grow up with is one of instability of 'love' as a concept and relationships practically. Of course, not being just in the purview of gay mind space, this concept must'ave been belted out of sanity by any number of self help books, written by anyone who has gone through one relationship; and often not. Thus the disclaimer that I don't think i am attempting to be producing original thought. And since I have not been able to read those books, owing to some personal 
prejudices; i can only say that this is jus once chewed, at the best. Anyway, Was basically thinking about why 'love', and relationships often don't last, while we are perfectly capable of having sexual contact with the same partners 
or the same kind of people for long. Well, i think it is basically that the basic needs of sex, security & food (maslow or whatever..), are essentially driven by the older parts of the brain (limbic cortex), and are thus emotion driven. While the ideas of 'love'(which may just be a learned emotional response..like pavlov's dog's salivation. that i find incredibly funny, the frontal cortex salivating for love.) and relationships, may be the colours put together by thoughts which are the babies of our 'newer' frontal cortices of the brain.

Essentially that 'love'(pardon me, its just a convenient word) is a thought driven process, often associated with learned emotional reflexes. And this could explain why love is more specific than the urge to have sex, thanks to the frontal brain. And being the fragile little urn carrying the ashes of sanity, coccooned by thoughts, we are able to keep it under our wraps,either in letting go; or in holding on to it with our dear lives. Well, the point is just that I don't think we can have a spontaneous process of love (unlike the stupid usage 'falling in love'), but one which needs to be steered through all sort of muck and beautiful monsoons. And much as we might be able to discredit the power of thought as 'rationalization' one can't go through with 'love' without thoughts.. words.. communication. of course, in limits.

And of course there are people who go their entire lifetime without much thought
about why they are in a relationship; i jus don't know how they do it, but I suspect
it happens when there is shared & learned emotional reflexes. or nothing..

in an orgy of 'rationalization'.

aswin.